OASIS Open

ISO/IEC JTC1/SC34

Yes

Apologies for not having reviewed this document as a draft.

Editorial issues:

1) It is not the habit of standards to announce what rules the standard will follow. It is enough that it follows the rules for a standard in the current SDO.

2) Generally, hanging paragraphs, which appear in every section of this document, lead to vague referencing. That is don't have 1. some text, 1.1 some text because what does a reference to paragraph 1 mean? Just the text following 1 or does it include 1.1 and any following content?

3) 4 KIMP Profiles isn't a helpful listing. There are no references to their definitions and if there were, they would have to be forward references, also not a good thing. Move to after the "conformance clauses" or perhaps even as a non-normative annex that points to the appropriate definitions in the normative part of the text.

4) A matter of style but it might be helpful to move the content of #4 into the definition section so you can give a short prose definition for each item. And you don't have to call it a "profile." Something is being defined by a profile, yes?

5) And I would not overuse "profile." Announcing this as KMIP Profiles is sufficient. Then proceed to name each of the items you want to define and cite the standard/conditions that make up that definition.

6) I would not overburden the conformance clause with myriad definitions. Conformance is meeting the requirements specified in the definitions.

for example:

Conformance of a KMIP Baseline Server
An implementation conforms to this specification as a Baseline Server if it meets the following conditions:
Supports the conditions required by the KMIP Server conformance clauses ([KMIP-Spec] 12.1)...

What does "supports" mean?

Versus

KMIP Baseline Server

A KMIP Baseline Server is defined as an implementation that:

1) Conforms to KMIP Server conformance clauses ([KMIP-Spec] 12.1)

Then later, in a proper conformance clause:

KMIP Baseline Server - An implementation that conforms to the requirements of section (insert correct section number) Key Management Interoperability Protocol Profiles Version 1.1.

That may not seem like much of a difference but clear separation of definitions and conformance clauses will go a long way to clarity of expression.

Apologies again for the late sending of these comments.

Substantive assistance with the drafts would be a nice OASIS member benefit. Perhaps you should raise that question with OASIS.